There is something so relatable to the fear of writing in the first page of a fresh notebook or deciding what you will draw into the first page of a new sketchbook, even taking a new passport picture offers a crippling glimpse at what could be a fresh start. The hesitation to enter into these reoccurring voyages and petit life events seem always to take over-thinking to an almost criminal level. There are, of course, the people in this world that can hurdle past the potential for welcom-ing anxiety, and just throw some ink on the page to get it over with, these people induce me into envy, and this is probably why I will never be one of these people.
The first few days of the new year offers the chance to imagine yourself finally inviting the change you want to see into your life. I’ve always considered the traditions of resolutions mildly unpalatable, only because I’d like to imagine that I can challenge myself to see when I need to make improvements, and make them. The thing is, I only question the rel-evance of resolutions simply because I am all too aware of their relevance. Taking an opportunity to annually re-introduce myself to the things I’ve missed, or I have noticed I might be missing in my life, is terrifying but only because I can imagine its temporality.
The romanticism of starting anew is even more poignant for me as I enter into my last few weeks in Vancouver, before making the move to Amsterdam. I’ve been travelling back and forth to Europe for the past several years and have finally committed myself to the risk. It’s as if I’m channelling those people throwing the ink on the page, except that my ‘throwing’ has taken a couple of years of encouraging some deep, and well hidden, inner boldness. As with most imagin-ed images, the potential for this clean start is filled with sun filled days to markets and morning bike commutes to a wonderful and irkingly cool job, all the while imagining myself comparable in height and looks to my Dutch comrades.
When considering the potential of starting fresh, there really is no ill fate, as the attempt alone is where the benefits lay. Whether your new year includes the urge to study a new language, make your own cheese or make a crazy move, Dutil would like to wish you a safe and bountiful New Year.
– Kirsten Geekie