Look Like a Badass by Next Weekend
Most of us don’t want to live a dangerous life, but the great thing about fashion is that you can totally look like you might. So much behind the philosophy of denim is a return to the classics and the beauty of age and distress. A little mileage makes you wise. Still young and sheltered? Well now you can be that dark, brooding, hot stranger smoking on the streetcorner in the shadows at 2am without actually smoking or being out late. You can look like you ride a motorcycle without owning one! Fashion, wow! And we’re here to let you know that there are a few tips and tricks that will help you live that authentic badass life (without the occasional DUI).
1) Practice Martin Sheen’s jean jacket flip from Badlands.
For the ladies, try to look like Rooney in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo with the leather, but with less blood and weird eyebrows.
2) Learn to light a match using the zipper fly of your jeans or for you button-up purists, master the art of the thigh spark (lighting a match on the side seam!) You’ll need a lightanywhere match for this trick. Those are the kind with the white tips, like Redbirds. Can you imagine lighting a cigarette for a pretty lady using this technique? Instant “like”.
3) Learn how to do cool stuff like trick shot into your garbage can or strategic pool shots like in that movie Pool Hall Junkies where that guy (who knows, who cares) sinks the 8 ball with one hand (don’t worry, there is also some Christopher Walkin saying “I’ve got you’re marbles”).
4) Get someone to hold your cigarette as you play poker like Newman in Cool Hand Luke. We don’t normally condone smoking but it looks cool, there is no denying.
5) Distress your old jeans. Got a little dirt? Rub it in. Sandpaper? Fade it out. Or maybe if you are feeling brave, we suggest creating some holes. It’s easy to create the perfect hole: just take an Exacto knife and carefully make a small cut. Then pull the sides of the hole to extend the rip naturally. When the hole is wide enough, pull the weft down with the edge of a safety pin in order to create the shredding that makes the hole look weathered and not fresh.
6) Sunglasses go really far. Lagerfeld without shades? Just old. Like..
The right shape and style is also really important. We love this collab between Oliver Peoples and Maison Kitsuné
Above all, BEWARE OF THE APPEAL OF DIY DENIM LOAFERS. It’s a thing. There are cutting patterns on the internet. They may be comfortable, but badass people don’t “loaf”. Just. Stop. It.